Connections

I’ve never been one for networking. Now, maybe it’s my natural shyness (anyone who has ever met me will laugh at that thought – but the fact remains that just because I play the part of the extrovert doesn’t mean that I AM the extrovert!), yet I’ve always been able to tell myself that I find the thought of networking a bit vulgar. A bit too self-promotional. A bit to “Me! Me! Me!”

And I’ve already ‘fessed-up to suffering from a major dose of impostor syndrome, so networking isn’t something that I find in any way pleasurable.

Fortunately I’m not in a position whereby I need to network with people for a living. The roof over my head and the food on my table are not provided by my having to constantly go out and meet and connect with new people. Which makes those times when I do make connections all the more real. And make the connections all the more meaningful.

We all need other people. Even if we have no ulterior motive (like our business bottom line), we need human interaction and human connection.

In most settings we tend to judge our “worth” by some metric of “success” – both abstract concepts that have little, if any real relevance to our value as a connection. Yet most of us have a vast experience that we ignore when it comes to what we think others will see in us.

We are all many different people inside this vehicle in which we travel. I, for instance, am a father, a son, a partner, a friend, a curator of things, a seeker of knowledge. I am curious, I crave new experiences, yet despite this I am afraid of things that I don’t understand. I am always willing to help and I give more than sometimes I should, but I find it hard to say “No” when people ask me. I am massively opinionated and I seldom have a filter – which sometimes gets me into trouble, even though I have no desire to hurt or offend anyone. I swear too much. I can be deeply political. My mouth can drop me in it and my mouth can save me (sometimes in close proximity!) I can be a best friend or a worst enemy.

I can’t put any of that on a badge, which is probably as well, since there is a depth there that most networking folk would retch at! And nothing in there tells a potential connection what I can do for them.

Yet in the networking that matters – those situations where real and meaningful connections are made, those are the bits that make me someone that you might want to know.

Or not.

And if you don’t, then that’s fine. You can fuck off! 😉